(StatePoint)

Being a teenager is never easy, but for some kids, it is excruciating. For parents, being able to tell the difference between normal growing pains and real trouble is crucial. From drug abuse to depression to more serious physical or mental abuse, it’s important to recognize when your teen is in trouble. “Young people don’t always have the tools or perspective to process everything that’s happening to them. Many teens will turn inward, keeping feelings to themselves,” says Bulbul Bahuguna, a psychiatrist and author of the new novel, “The Ghosts That Come Between Us,” a coming-of-age story about a victim of childhood sex abuse. “ But Bahuguna, whose novel is informed by her work treating adults coping with childhood abuse issues, says parents can break the silence. “What can hurt teens even more than the troubles and issues they face, is the silence of those around them. Parents should never play the role of silent bystanders,” she says.

Here are some steps you can take to help your child survive the teen years emotionally unscathed:

• Recognize that it can take courage to talk about certain issues, such as depression, or being the victim of bullying or abuse. Just because your child isn’t vocalizing an issue, doesn’t mean everything is okay. If your child is acting withdrawn, secretive, angry or sad, set aside time for a discussion. By engaging regularly, you can encourage teens to speak honestly with you before problems start. Don’t force or pry, however.

• While you’re no longer changing diapers or spoon feeding your teenager, older children need parents too. “Being there” for teenagers means reviewing report cards, communicating with teachers, facilitating extracurricular activities and being a great listener and emotional support system.

• While you may be able to talk your child through some of life’s bumps in the road, some situations call for professional help. Not only is a therapist or psychiatrist professionally qualified to help develop coping skills, your child might feel more comfortable talking to someone objective. Such aid can be crucial to helping your teen move on and grow into a healthy adulthood, stresses Bahuguna, whose new novel “The Ghosts That Come Between Us” traces the life of an abused girl as she grows of age into a triumphant but tormented adult. The novel implies that the protagonist’s adult life would have been less tormented had she had access to help growing up.

• Ensure your school offers easy access to mental health services and encourage your child to use those services.

• Boost self-esteem by fostering your teen’s talents and regularly letting them know you love them.  It is normal for a child to seek specialness. Unfortunately, this pursuit of specialness sometimes is exploited by abusive adults. It is important to fill teenagers' specialness void by nurturing their innate talents, say experts.

"Society needs to believe the victim and the victim needs to believe that healing is possible with courage, honesty and patience," says Bahuguna, emphasizing the need for trust and patience. More advice from Dr. Bahuguna can be found at www.BulbulBahuguna.com, along with information on her new book.

(StatePoint)

Everyone has heard about a cosmetic procedure that left a patient unsatisfied or worse. But don’t let those anecdotes scare you. There are plenty of qualified, talented doctors available for every procedure. Whether you’re investigating a tummy tuck or laser fat removal, don’t rush to the first doctor in the phone book.

For better results, do your research:

• Ask your friends for referrals, particularly if you like their results.

• While cost may be a factor, remember, less is not always more. This is your body, so opt with the best choice. Many doctors offer their patients financing choices that can help make procedures more affordable.

• Read reviews online. What kind of reputation does the doctor have? Begin your research process at a site which offers patients an easy way to directly connect to multiple doctors in a matter of minutes, and offers valuable resources on various procedures.  For example, www.LocateaDoc.com, a top online physician directory of 150,000 doctors, connects patients with cosmetic and plastic surgeons, hair restoration specialists, and ear nose and throat doctors. Prospective patients can search by body part to find a specialist, by procedure or treatment name, location or doctor’s last name.

• Schedule a consultation with several doctors so you can get a sense for how knowledgeable they seem and how comfortable you feel with them, their staffs and offices. Develop a list of questions in advance and take notes so you can remember the specifics about each doctor and experience.

• A picture is worth a thousand words, so compare doctors’ work visually. For instance, you can review over 60,000 before and after cosmetic surgery pictures at LocateaDoc.com. The searchable gallery includes botox pictures and images of other procedures done by doctors listed in the system. Filter results by procedure, gender, age, height and weight to see the results of patients similar to you.

• Investigate multiple procedures that deliver similar results to determine which is right for you. By doing appropriate leg work in advance, you can walk into your procedure with confidence that you’ve made a good decision.

(StatePoint)

If you’ve noticed your banking and financial service fees going up, you’re not imagining it. Thanks to new rules and regulations restricting banks from making certain kinds of risky investments, they are finding new streams of revenue. But experts say that there are steps you can take to avoid paying a price for the nation’s well-intended but costly new banking reforms.  “Now more than ever, reading the fine print is a must if you want to protect yourself from higher fees and surprises,” says Shari Olefson, legal, financial, and real estate expert and author of the new book, “Financial Fresh Start: Your Five-Step Plan for Adapting and Prospering in the New Economy.”

Here are some tips to avoid pitfalls and bank smarter in the new economy:

• Compare: Just as you might shop prices for a manicure or personal trainer, shop for bank and financial services too. Compare at least three different banks and the details on services you need. What are the fees associated with these services and what are the requirements you have to meet to avoid penalties?

• Explore alternatives. Consider switching to a smaller bank, credit union or online bank to avoid paying certain fees. Fees can also sometimes be avoided by consolidating accounts and credit cards, or by switching to a less expensive service, such as away from a premium account to basic checking. Look specifically for banking services to which the new rules don’t apply. For example, banks with less than $10 billion in assets are exempt from many of the new rules and reforms.            

• Monitor rewards: Some banks and financial service companies are aggressively cutting expenses. So if you use your bank’s reward program, watch for signs that the program may change or be phased out. “You want to be able to use your rewards before you risk losing them,” says Olefson.     

• Practice overdraft prevention: Keep a cushion in your account. Try tracking spending manually, using an old-fashioned paper register to spend more mindfully and pay your bills manually, too, since auto-payments are among the leading causes of account overdrafts. If you do become overdrawn, be sure to pay fees quickly to avoid being charged again for the original offense.

• Stick to your own ATMs: Plan your ATM visits and cash needs in advance to avoid using another bank’s ATM machines.

• Rinse, wash, repeat: “Like most other businesses, banks innovate, especially when it comes to the potential types of new fees they can charge, even under the new rules and reforms,” Olefson observes. “These innovations are never-ending. Periodically revisit the financial services you use and how much they cost in order to ensure you’re paying the least amount possible.”

More tips for thriving in the new economy and information about “Financial Fresh Start,” by Shari Olefson, can be found at www.FinancialFreshStartTheBook.com. Take steps today to ensure that your banking and financial services are working for, and not against you.