THE GRUNTS's VIETNAM WAR EXPERIENCE

THIS IS WHAT I, AND THE REST OF THE "GRUNTS" (USA INFANTRY

SOLDIERS) HAD TO FACE DURING OUR TOUR IN VIETNAM. TO US DIRT-EATING, MUD-SUCKING GRUNTS, THE VIETNAM WAR WAS AN ENDLESS NIGHTMARE OF BAD DAYS.

BESIDES THE NEVER ENDING FEAR OF DEATH, WE HAD TO ENDURE A HOST OF MISERIES. LET ME JUST MENTION A FEW: WE WERE LIVING IN FILTH, EATING TASTELESS FOOD, GETTING LITTLE SLEEP, SLEEPING ON THE GROUND, DIGGING OUR OWN TOILET WITH AN INTRENCHING TOOL AND CARRYING EVERYTHING WE OWNED ON OUR BACKS. ON TOP OF ALL THAT, WE HAD TO CONDUCT MERCILESS HUMPS THROUGH A SUN SCORCHED LANDSCAPE PACKING 60 LBS OF COMBAT GEAR. WE HAD TO PERFORM COMBAT ASSAULTS IN A BRAIN BOILING HEAT ACCOMPANIED BY A DEBILITATING HUMIDITY, FACING DEHYDRATION, HEAT EXHAUSTION, SUNBURN, RED DUST, TORRENTIAL RAINS, BOOT SUCKING MUD, BLOOD SUCKING LEECHES, STEAMING JUNGLES, WAIST DEEP SWAMPS, VEGETATION SPRAYED WITH AGENT ORANGE, DYSENTERY, RAZOR SHARP ELEPHANT GRASS, JUNGLE ROT, MEALS IN GREEN CANS, ARMIES OF MALARIA BEARING MOSQUITOES, RED FIRE ANTS, POISONOUS CENTIPEDES, FLIES, BUSH SNAKES, POISONOUS BAMBOO VIPERS, SCORPIONS, SPIDERS, RATS AND OF COURSE LONELINESS. EVERYTHING IN VIETNAM WAS A FIGHT, THE CONDITIONS, THE ELEMENTS, THE MONSOONS, THE CLUTCHING WAIT-A-MINUTE VINES, THE MOSQUITOES, AND THE ENEMY. EVERYDAY WAS A NEVER ENDING STRUGGLE. THERE IS ONLY ONE WORD THAT CAN SUMMARIZE THE VIETNAM WAR EXPERIENCE AND THAT WORD IS "HELL".

WE ALSO FOUND OURSELVES TO A VARYING DEGREE, PLAGUED BY BOOBY TRAPS, PUNJI STICKS TRAPS, MINEFIELDS, SNIPERS, PUMMELED BY 122MM ROCKETS, RPG-7's, AND MORTAR FIRE, SURPRISED BY AMBUSHES AND SAPPER ATTACKS. DANGER BECAME PART OF THE TERRAIN AND MOST SOLDIERS SAW THEIR PERSONAL MISSION AS NOTHING MORE THAN SURVIVING THESE HAZARDS. IN WAR, HAZARDS ARE TO BE EXPECTED, AND EXPERIENCED SOLDIERS ANTICIPATE THEM AS BEST THEY COULD. THE VIETNAM WAR WAS A WAR WITH NO FRONT LINES AGAINST AN ENEMY THAT SEEM TO BE ABLE TO STRIKE AND VANISH INTO THE JUNGLES. THIS WAR WAS NOT ABOUT GAINING AND PROTECTING TERRITORY. ABOUT THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE WAS THE SO CALLED -"BODY COUNT"- (THE HOW MANY ENEMY DID WE KILL.) DEAD ENEMY BODIES- NOT TERRITORY GAINED OR HELD- WERE THE MEASURE OF SUCCESS.

THE VIET CONG, OUR ENEMY, WORE NO UNIFORM. THE ENEMY WAS ALWAYS AROUND US AND LOOKED JUST LIKE THE SOUTH VIETNAMESE ARMY SOLDIERS WHO WERE FIGHTING ALONGSIDE US, AND SINCE WE COULD NOT LOOK INTO THEIR SOULS, WE NEVER COULD BE SURE WHO TO TRUST. SO WE HAD TO LIVE ON THE EDGE ALL THE TIME.

IN VIETNAM, THERE WAS NO FRONT LINE, NO SINGLE DIRECTION IN WHICH ONE COULD POINT TOWARD THE ENEMY. RATHER WE WADED INTO THE COUNTRYSIDE AND THE JUNGLE IN WHAT WAS CALLED "SEARCH AND DESTROY OPERATIONS" AND STRUGGLED AGAINST TORRENTS OF ANTICIPATION AND FEAR, NEVER KNOWING WHERE DANGER MIGHT LIE OR EVEN IN WHAT DIRECTION TO FACE IN ORDER TO MEET IT HEAD ON. AND ON TOP OF ALL THESE PROBLEMS WE HAD TO FIGHT THE VIET CONG AND THE NORTH VIETNAMESE ARMY SOLDIERS WHO WERE SOMEWHERE OUT THERE READY TO KILL US AT THE FIRST CHANCE THEY GOT.

I DID NOT GO TO WAR BECAUSE I HATED THE ENEMY, I WENT TO WAR BECAUSE I LOVE MY COUNTRY. AS INFANTRY SOLDIERS FIGHTING IN VIETNAM, WE SUFFERED HARDSHIPS AND RISKED OUR LIVES, WHETHER WE WANTED IT OR NOT, IT WAS OUR DUTY TO OUR COUNTRY. DESPITE ALL THESE DANGERS AND SACRIFICES, WE FOUGHT BRAVELY WITH HONOR AND DISTINCTION. WE DID OUR JOB WELL .

I HAD DONE MY DUTY AND WHAT WAS EXPECTED OF ME . I HAD SERVED WITH HONOR, DISTINCTION AND DEDICATION AS AN ARMY SPECIAL FORCES GREEN BERET. I HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF SERVING WITH AMERICA'S BEST SOLDIERS.

AND THEN, WE CAME HOME. WE CAME HOHE TO WHAT?

WE CAME HOME TO A COUNTRY THAT WOULD NOT WELCOME US BACK. UPON OUR RETURN, THERE WERE NO TICKER-TAPE PARADES, NO BRASS BANDS PLAYING, NO DRUM ROLLS, NO FLAG WAVING , NO YELLOW RIBBONS AROUND TREES, NO FIREWORKS, NO PEALING OF THE GREAT CATHEDRAL BELLS, NO WELCOME HOME BANNERS, NO FANFARE, NO SMILING FACES, NO HONK IF YOU CARE ABOUT OUR BOYS, NO THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE, NO ACCOLADES, AND OF COURSE NO WELCOMING SPEECHES.

INSTEAD, WHAT DID WE GET ON OUR RETURN FROM VIETNAM? WHAT WE GOT WAS THE HARE KRISHNAS CHANTING VITUPERATIVE SONGS AND A BUNCH OF LONG HAIRED HIPPIES DEMONSTRATING AGAINST US ALONG WITH LARGE GROUPS OF ANTI-WAR PROTESTORS AT THE SAN FRANCISCO AIRPORT WHO WERE SPITTING ON OUR BOOTS AND UNIFORMS. WE WERE VILIFIED, RIDICULED AND CURSED BY THESE PROTESTORS WHO USED EPITHETS AGAINST US SUCH AS BABY KILLERS, WOMEN KILLERS, WARMONGERS, RAPISTS, WAR CRIMINALS, DRUG ADDICTS AND DERANGED SOCIOPATHS. THERE WERE ANTI-WAR DEMONSTRATIONS, AND DRAFT CARD BURNINGS THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY AT SEVERAL COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES. THE STUDENTS HATE AGAINST ALL MILITARY MANAGED TO BANNED THE ROTC PROGRAMS FROM MOST U.S. UNIVERSITIES. THE AMERICAN MEDIA LOOKED AT US AS IF WE WERE THEIR ENEMY, WAS ANTAGONISTIC AND QUITE OFTEN PORTRAYED US AS COLD HEARTED GUN SLINGERS WHO WERE ALWAYS RAPING WOMEN , SHOOTING CHILDREN, AND HIGH ON DRUGS.

IT WAS A CONTEMPTUOUS HOMECOMING TO SAY THE LEAST FOR THOSE OF US WHO FOUGHT A THANKLESS WAR FOR AN UNGRATEFUL NATION. INSTEAD OF APPRECIATION, WE FACED SCORN AND APPALLING HUMILIATION . WE WERE SEEN AS SOCIAL LEPERS IN THE EYES OF AN UNSYMPATHETIC SOCIETY WHICH VIEWED US AS MORAL MISFITS WHO PARTICIPATED IN SOMETHING IMMORAL AND INFAMOUS.

OUR CIVILIAN CONTEMPORARIES, SOMETIMES EVEN OUR FRIENDS, VIEWED US AS A SYMBOL OF A WAR WHICH WAS DESPISED BY THE MAJORITY OF MAINSTREAM AMERICA. CONSEQUENTLY, THE VIETNAM WAR VETERAN WAS OSTRACIZED AND OFTEN CONSIDERED AN OUTCAST IN HIS OWN COUNTRY. DEFINITELY, I DID NOT RECEIVE A WARM FUZZY WELCOME HOME ONE MAY EXPECT FOR A YOUNG MAN WHO HAD RISKED HIS LIFE FOR THE SAKE OF FREEDOM.

WE RETURNED TO A COUNTRY WHICH WOULD NOT WELCOME US, OR MOURN OUR DEAD WITH US. WE RETURNED TO A COUNTRY THAT WOULD NOT RECOGNIZE OUR SACRIFICES AND COURAGE. WE RETURNED HOME TO A NATION THAT SENT US OFF TO WAR, BUT WAS NOT THERE ON OUR RETURN TO WELCOME US HOME. UPON MY RETURN FROM VIETNAM, I BEGAN TO LEARN A VERY BITTER LESSON. THE VALUES WITH WHICH I HAD BEEN RAISED HAD CHANGED, IN THE EYES OF MOST AMERICANS, THE MILITARY SERVICES HAD NO MORE HEROES, THEY MERELY HAD BABY-KILLERS, MISFITS, DRUG ADDICTS AND FOOLS.

I WAS NEITHER A BABY-KILLER NOR A MISFIT OR DRUG ADDICT. MAYBE I WAS A FOOL. NOT SURPRISINGLY, VIETNAM VETERANS FELT ABANDONED, BETRAYED, AND MALIGNED . WE WERE NEVER TREATED WITH THE HONOR, DIGNITY, AND RESPECT WE DESERVED. MANY OF OUR COUNTRYMEN CAME TO HATE THE WAR WE FOUGHT, AND THEY WERE NOT SENSITIVE ENOUGH TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN THE WAR AND THE SOLDIERS WHO HAD BEEN ORDERED TO FIGHT IT. THEY HATED US JUST AS WELL, AND WE WENT TO GROUND IN THE CROSS-FIRE, AS WE HAD LEARNED IN THE JUNGLES OF SOUTH VIETNAM.

I FOUND THAT THERE WAS A WAR AT HOME AGAINST RETURNING VETERANS FROM VIETNAM, A SILENT WAR AGAINST US WAGED BY A SILENT MAJORITY. A WAR THAT WE COULD NOT WIN AND WE ARE STILL FIGHTING. A WAR WAGED BY THE MEDIA, THE EDUCATION SYSTEMS, THE EMPLOYERS, THE VA AND SOME OF OUR LEGISLATORS.

THE WAR IN VIETNAM LEFT A WOUND ON MY GENERATION THAT HAS NOT HEALED. IT WAS CLOSED WITH THE INFECTION STILL RAGING INSIDE. AND AS A RESULT, WE CONTINUE TO FIGHT THIS SILENT WAR IN OUR OWN HOME COUNTRY. A WAR AGAINST A LARGE SEGMENT OF AMERICAN SOCIETY WHO CONTINUOUS TO BE HOSTILE AND DESPISES US AND SEE US WITH DISDAIN. WHEN I RETURNED FROM THE WAR IN VIETNAM, I TRIED HARD TO BECOME ASSIMILATED INTO THE EXISTING AMERICAN SOCIETY. IT WAS NOT EASY BECAUSE ACCORDING TO MANY, WE WERE POTENTIALLY HARMFUL TO THEM AND IT WAS DANGEROUS TO BE SEEN TALKING TO US. POPULAR CULTURE HAS OFTEN PAINTED US VIETNAM VETERANS AS UNSTABLE, UNRELIABLE AND DOWNRIGHT ANTISOCIAL. WE WERE CONSIDERED SOCIETY'S CASTOFFS.

IT WASN'T SO MUCH THE FIGHTING, THE HORROR, THE TRAUMA, AND THE DYING THAT ENDLESSLY PAIN OUR HEARTS AND OUR MINDS, BUT THE FACT THAT OUR NATION DISCARDED US LIKE PUTREFIED MEAT. FORTY SIX YEARS HAVE PASSED SINCE THE END OF THE WAR, BUT AMERICANS CONTINUE TO FIGHT THE VIETNAM WAR - ON TELEVISION, IN THE MOVIES, IN THE POLITICAL ARENA, AND OVER THE RADIO WAVES. AND THE BRAVE SOLDIERS, SAILORS, MARINES , AND AIRMEN WHO PUT THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE IN SOUTHEAST ASIA CONTINUE TO BE CASUALTIES IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER.

WE WERE THE BEST AMERICA HAD AT THAT TIME, BUT AMERICA TURNED HER BACK ON US. I LOVE MY COUNTRY AND ALL I WANTED WHEN I CAME BACK FROM VIETNAM WAS FOR MY COUNTRY TO LOVE ME BACK, BUT THAT DID NOT HAPPENED.

TODAY, IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT I RECEIVED NOTHING, NOT A "THANK YOU” NOT A"WELCOME HOME", I WILL CONTINUE TO DEFEND OUR NATION AND MY BROTHER VIETNAM WAR VETERANS WHO CAN NO LONGER SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES .

I WANT TO END THIS ESSAY WITH THE ELOQUENT WORDS OF "'TO THE VIETNAM VETERAN" WHICH WERE WRITTEN BY MY BROTHER VIETNAM WAR VETERAN, RICH "BOON" PRESTON

TO THE VIETNAM VETERAN

TO THOSE WHO RETURNED HOME WITH NO ONE TO GREET THEM.

TO THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN TOLD PTSD WOULD GO AWAY IN TIME .

TO THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN TOLD THANK YOU OR OFFICIALLY WELCOME HOME.

TO THOSE WHO RETURNED PHYSICALLY, BUT STILL ARE HAUNTED BY THE NIGHTMARES OF WAR .

TO THOSE WHO STILL REACT TO A BACKFIRE AND BREAK A SWEAT AT THE SOUND OF A CHOPPER .

TO THOSE WHO HAVE TRAVELED ENDLESSLY NEVER LETTING ROOTS TAKE HOLD OR SETTLED DOWN .

TO THOSE WHO HEAR A FAMILIAR SONG THAT TAKES YOU BACK TO A PLACE YOU'D RATHER FORGET.

TO THOSE WHO CAN COUNT THE FRIENDS THEY HAVE ON ONE HAND FOR FEAR OF LOSING ANOTHER .

TO THOSE WHO SUFFER FROM AGENT ORANGE EXPOSURE AND STILL FIGHTING THE LAST BATTLE .

TO THOSE WHO FOUGHT BATTLES IN STEAMING JUNGLES OF VIETNAM AND ALSO HERE AT HOME.

TO THOSE WHO HAVE MORE FRIENDS ON THE VIETNAM MEMORIAL WALL THAN THEY DO IN THIS LIFE.

THANK YOU! WELCOME HOME.

RUBEN R. SALAZAR

US ARMY SF GREEN BERET

VIETNAM WAR VETERAN